Week 1 Check-In

Attention People! Attention in the back please.

This gal stuck to HER plan all week long and she managed to lose 3lbs. 3 stinking pounds and I stayed where I wanted to, in control and managed to keep my steps where I wanted them. Worked out most days and always got some form of exercise in.

Did I mention I managed all this and still started my cycle!? Because that in and of itself is a hell of an accomplishment.

Also, I got my tennis shoes. :)
Super excited about that one. I might be more proud because I met my minimum goal, managed a single cheat meal and then rocked it out the rest of the time.

Don't forget, if you're on Instragram- follow me @thecrunchycountrywitch or my journey at #thecrunchycountrywitch30x30!

#GoalDigger

"I ain't saying she a goal digger, but she messing with those carbs either..."


Seriously though. Goals. They can fucking suck sometimes ya'll. Especially when you are broadcasting them babies all over Instagram to get your ass in gear.

I'm totally over being the "chubby girl" and want to be the trim, lean midwife machine. (Is this even a thing? If it isn't, copyright.- See, Paris, I can copyright too.)

So here's the deal.

December 8th, 2016 I turn 30. The big 3-0. That used to mean you were used up, washed out and no longer relevant in the world of hotness. But baby, this isn't the game anymore. 30 is better than being 18. Young, sexy and hopefully full of sexual energy. (Did I just type that?)

So Monday started off my #30lbsgoneby30 goal. This was all spurred by finding myself a lovely fitness tracker at Aldi's on Friday of last week. It's like my constant reminder to make better choices, eat healthier, get my rear in gear to move my body.

It can't be slim and lean if it isn't being worked.   < New Mantra

Month One Rules
1. 10 minutes of cardio a day outside of walking 7k steps.
2. Strength Training Monday through Friday. Currently using a rock awesome set I found on Pinterest from BodyRockTv.
3. Diet is key. No sugar. Limited carbs. Lots of water. Eat every 3/4 hours.
4. Put everything on Instagram with the #30lbsgoneby30 and #thecrunchycountrywitch30x30

At the end of the month, I'm setting new goals. Hopefully having at least a 4lb loss.

Diet
* I'm following a hybrid Low Carb High Fat (LCHF) and Trim Healthy Mama (THM) style diet. No sugar. Stevia and xylitol are acceptable sweeteners. (I'd do a sugar detox with you, but the last 2x I did family members died. Seriously. So for the sake of my cousin and her Grandma, I can't participate.)
* 80 ounces minimum of water a day.
* COFFEE IS A GIFT FROM THE GODS. This is non-negotiable.

Mini-Rewards
1 Completed Week of Working Out/Eating: New tennis shoes.

2 Completed Weeks: New headband. Like the awesome ones they try to advertise all over my Facebook page.

3 Completed Weeks: New tank top to workout in. Something racerback and cute. Preferably with a saying about the elixir of Gods. (Coffee, if you're confused in this world.)

4 Completed Weeks: Dinner at my favorite restaurant with the Hot Carney. Right now, that is BD's Mongolian BBQ. He won't like this... but I will.  Dressed up nice.

Major Rewards
10lbs gone = New panties, like sexy ones. Victoria Secret (or Walmart, because let's face it. Gretchen Wilson spelled it out. You CAN look sexy in Walmart lingerie.)

20lbs gone = New workout clothes. This t'shirt and comfy pants works now. But summer is coming baby and I want to be able to run in a fitted tank and show off what I've done!

30lbs gone = I am getting a new wardrobe. Plain and simple. $400 of clothes from this super cute bohemian store I cannot fit even a boob into now.

Starting Stats
Bust: 47"
Chest: 41"
Belly: 46.5"
Thigh: 24.5"
Height: 5'4"
Weight 228lbs

Want to join in? Follow me on Instagram @thecrunchycountrywitch and hashtag #thecrunchycountrywitch30x30.

Stay tuned for the last day of February for my updates!

Midwest Winter Visitor

Snakes. I hate snakes. Detest them, afraid of them, still haven't figured out why God couldn't make a giant big bear the reason Eve ate the apple... you get the drift. I don't want them around.

So imagine my surprise when at about 1 in the morning there was one in our CITY house. Not our country house in rural Missouri, where copperheads and rattlesnakes are spotted all summer long. Ugh. I thought I was safe. It's the middle of winter, we've had a snow storm and it's literally freezing outside. Winter is supposed to be my time to be able to move around without feeling the dread of coming up on a snake. Guess the stinkers didn't get the message.

So here we are, I've crashed out because well, babies. (2 could come at any moment and I don't want to be exhausted when they decide to arrive.) and the dogs start growling and throwing a fit. I am beyond annoyed because this is the second time they have done this tonight and tell the boyfriend to go see if someone is here or something. Thank goodness for loud, ferocious sounding dogs.

Up goes the boyfriend, in the dark hallway where he finds nothing. Upon coming back in the hallway (Did I mention I've walked down said hallway a half a dozen times in the last hour?) he seeing a snake moving on the side of the hallway. Throws the light on and BAM!, baby garter snake. About a foot long with it's nasty slithering belly. The stuff of nightmares ya'll.

He yells for me to close the bedroom door and I have to ask why. He tries to tell me just to close the door and get back in bed, but it won't work. I HAVE to know what is going on. He tells me what he has found and his plan of attack. He wrangles the little bugger into our spare bedroom and catches him. Broom and 5 gallon bucket to the rescue! Well... I guess the boyfriend to the rescue too. Crisis semi-diverted. I did mention this is the stuff of nightmares right!?

Somehow I managed to fall back asleep without needing alcohol or a Xanax. I'm impressed with my mind skills. I convinced myself there was only one... except Sushi dog now keeps checking out the corner where all his carney boxes are stored. I'm totally keeping my feet on the chair and an eye on the corner.....

Someone Stole My Pagan Holiday

"Dear old world', she murmured, 'you are very lovely and I am glad to be alive in your." - L.M. Montgomery (Anne of Green Gables)

^ This. All of this. All day. Everyday.

This is an amazing time to live. So much action, connection, convictions and ideologies to challenge our thoughts and beliefs. It's beautiful, breath-taking.

Let's explore some that make me think today.

Here's an amazing one on feminism that from Wild Woman Speaks.

And this lovely one on embracing sex over at Elephant Journal.

Of course, there is the lovely Starbucks cup debate going on. If you missed it, Google it. Because other than sharing that bit of information, I won't get into it. #someonestolemypaganholiday

Blessings <3

2 Births and a Conference

This week has been insanely busy, but rather fulfilling. It's brought a high lack of sleep (why am I still awake?) and a super busy day of sitting in on a ground breaking conference that could be earth shattering. It's brought two healthy babies, one of which is a beautiful "rainbow" baby and the other a beautiful little brother.

It's had it's highs and it's lows. And while it has been a totally amazing week, I'm ready for the slow down. That moment where everything starts going flat, that this roller coaster ride comes to a stop. At least for a few days.

I'd love nothing more than to be at home, sleeping in my own bed and cuddled up to the amazingly tall carney (you know, carnival worker) that I call my other half. Probably stealing the covers while our dogs lay between (or on) our feet and the kids sleeping soundly in their beds, and preferably until 9 am. :)

Take away from this week?
* My poker face is improving! I even stumped my preceptor!!
* Birth is amazing, even when it gets gritty.
* I have been placed in an amazing opportunity in life, viewing groundbreaking events unfolding before my eyes.
* Hereford House is delicious. That steak, OMG!?!
* I need to find a system of organization.

Psst, Did I mention that a certain "Sweet Transvestite" and I have a date as soon as I get home? Gifts from clients can be super amazing!

Thirty Days Thankful

November 1st has come. Seriously, where has this year gone!?! I have so many things to tie up in these last two months of 2015.

2015 has been a great year so far. A few hills to climb, plenty to coast down and the blessings of a lot of personal and work-related accomplishments. None of which could have been completed with out the people who surround my personal and professional life.

Tradition goes (Who's tradition is it? Is it a Facebook tradition?) that for the entire month of November you post something daily that you are thankful for. Thankful, grateful, blessed, etc. all hold the same value. I don't want to limit it to the standards. Limits and standards bore me.

So for my Thirty Days Thankful I will actively post on my Facebook page what has inspired me, challenged me, forced growth or made growth easier over the last year. Things that might not have been comfortable, but certainly brought about a new part of myself.